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Living Alone After Your Divorce...Now What?

Posted by Christopher Holwell | Jun 20, 2018 | 0 Comments

Living Alone After a Divorce

Making the adjustment to being alone can take time. That's a really generic answer but sometimes those answers are the best.

It may take months before a new place will feel like home. It will eventually get there.

So what will help?


Keep yourself on a set schedule. Don't try to change your life the day after your divorce is final. Keep your regular routine; if you are an early riser, stay that way. The little things will add up over time. Everyone knows who Bruce Lee is. Bruce Lee said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” Another excellent example is from Admiral William McRaven who gave the commencement speech at the University of Texas, Austin. What is it? Make Your Bed. It is a little victory that will set the tone for the rest of your day.

Keep a list

It can be extremely helpful to keep a list of tasks. Why? Not only does it keep you on top of all the little things you need to do, it helps keep you from getting overwhelmed. You will probably have a lot on your mind in the first few months after your divorce, so the more you can get out of your head and on paper, the clearer your thought process will be. This will also help you from getting overwhelmed with tasks that pile up.

 Invite people to your place

Most people will not know how to act especially if they are still married. Invite your friends to you place. By taking action, it will make them feel more at ease at seeing you are ok with what has happened. Remember friends are friends. You will make them feel better and as a result, make yourself feel better.

Don't get caught up in your own negative thoughts

You are your own best friend or worst critic. Divorce is widely thought of as a negative event but in many cases, it the best thing that could have happened. People change, situations change, everything is in a constant state of change. Be sure to not let your divorce be only about the negative. Start the day with a conversation with yourself and decide that the world is a good place and you are part of it.

About the Author

Christopher Holwell

Christopher W. Holwell Attorney/Principal 9 years with Holwell Group, LLC/Law Offices of Christopher W. Holwell 19 years as a trial attorney for Divorce, Real Estate, Insurance Coverage, and Injury. One of my biggest accomplishments in a divorce case was getting a multi-million dollar settlement from a spouse that was not disclosing several million dollars in assets. In addition, I was able to get the other spouse to fully fund the one child's college education as part of the settlement. Another of my biggest accomplishments in an injury case was procuring a several hundred thousand dollar settlement for my 14-year-old client who suffered a knee injury during an after school athletic program. I was able to get all interested parties to set aside funds for the client's college fund in case his athletic scholarship was affected. I am constantly attending Continuing Legal Education seminars to stay up to date on any changes in the law that might affect any of my clients. My primary areas of practice are Divorce, Family Law, Real Estate, and Insurance Litigation. Most of my clients are concerned with what to do or what not to do when the first come to see me for a consultation or appointment. Their next concern is usually financial; what are they going to do now? How are they going to survive? I tell each client, based on their unique situation, what their options are and what will happen next. I am there for them from start to finish. The best part of my job is doing the work the client is too upset to do. While I understand the emotional roller-coaster clients go through, my experience allows me to step outside the emotion point of view, and use the law and facts to benefit my clients to the best of my ability. I was born in Oak Lawn, Illinois, was raised in Bridgeview up until college and now live in Lake County, Illinois with my family (my wife and three children.) I still have family in Bridgeview, Oak Lawn, and Orland Park. A little-known fact about me is that I love astronomy and anything to do with the stars and planets. In my free time, I tend to read a lot, usually late at night and play with my children and new Newfoundland puppy, Indy (Indiana Jones) I am admitted to practice law in Illinois and all Federal Courts including the Supreme Court of the Untied States of America. I treat my clients like friends. You can reach me at: (312) 648-6115 [email protected] [email protected] Linkedin: Christopher W. Holwell Facebook: Holwell Law Group, LLC


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