There really is no such thing as an objectively good or bad occurrence. When a billionaire loses $ 1 million in the stock market, it's not the same as when you or I lose a million dollars. Insult from your worst enemy is received differently than negative words from a spouse. If someone sends you an angry email but you never see it, did it actually happen?
These situations require our participation, context, and categorization in order to be “bad.” Our reaction is what actually decides whether harm has occurred. If we feel that we've been wronged and get angry, of course that's how it will seem. If we raise our voice because we feel we're being confronted, our emotions rile us to "fight" or "flight" and naturally a confrontation will most likely ensue. But if we control of ourselves, we can decide whether to label something good or bad. If that same "bad" event happened to us at different points in our lifetime, we might have very different reactions. Why not choose not to react? In the context of your divorce, your spouse can seem to be your worst enemy because they know what upsets you. Your best reaction in many situations in no reaction...easier said than done but when you can use your logic, you will ultimately be better than reacting with your emotions.