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Thinking About Leaving Your Spouse or Partner?

Posted by Christopher Holwell | Jun 21, 2018 | 0 Comments

Thinking About Leaving Your Spouse or Partner?

How much is too much?

It Depends on when you are thinking about it.

 Everyone has thought about it one time or another. Bad things happen in this life and bam, you think “What would happen if I just left?” Fights happen. Stress can feel overwhelming. Thoughts creep in about what your life would be like if you had made different decisions. That doesn't make you a bad person.

But, when you think about it can be a game-changer.

Never use the threat of leaving as a weapon or a bargaining chip in a fight or argument. Thinking it is one thing, but once you say it, you don't get a do-over. The words stay long after they leave your mouth.

In the heat of an argument, the "fight or flight" part of your brain wants to end the confrontation is one of two ways. You need to ask your “adult brain” do I really want to leave and all of the consequences that go with it.

After you've had time to cool down and think about it, you can ask yourself that question again “Do I really want to leave?”

If the answer is yes, you need to ask yourself more questions. I don't mean thinking about over coffee. I mean take time to soul search and ask yourself, “Will this person be there for you? Are you living your best life? Have you managed your own expectations?”

Maybe counseling is the answer or maybe not. Maybe it's time to do what you need to do.

About the Author

Christopher Holwell

Christopher W. Holwell Attorney/Principal 9 years with Holwell Group, LLC/Law Offices of Christopher W. Holwell 19 years as a trial attorney for Divorce, Real Estate, Insurance Coverage, and Injury. One of my biggest accomplishments in a divorce case was getting a multi-million dollar settlement from a spouse that was not disclosing several million dollars in assets. In addition, I was able to get the other spouse to fully fund the one child's college education as part of the settlement. Another of my biggest accomplishments in an injury case was procuring a several hundred thousand dollar settlement for my 14-year-old client who suffered a knee injury during an after school athletic program. I was able to get all interested parties to set aside funds for the client's college fund in case his athletic scholarship was affected. I am constantly attending Continuing Legal Education seminars to stay up to date on any changes in the law that might affect any of my clients. My primary areas of practice are Divorce, Family Law, Real Estate, and Insurance Litigation. Most of my clients are concerned with what to do or what not to do when the first come to see me for a consultation or appointment. Their next concern is usually financial; what are they going to do now? How are they going to survive? I tell each client, based on their unique situation, what their options are and what will happen next. I am there for them from start to finish. The best part of my job is doing the work the client is too upset to do. While I understand the emotional roller-coaster clients go through, my experience allows me to step outside the emotion point of view, and use the law and facts to benefit my clients to the best of my ability. I was born in Oak Lawn, Illinois, was raised in Bridgeview up until college and now live in Lake County, Illinois with my family (my wife and three children.) I still have family in Bridgeview, Oak Lawn, and Orland Park. A little-known fact about me is that I love astronomy and anything to do with the stars and planets. In my free time, I tend to read a lot, usually late at night and play with my children and new Newfoundland puppy, Indy (Indiana Jones) I am admitted to practice law in Illinois and all Federal Courts including the Supreme Court of the Untied States of America. I treat my clients like friends. You can reach me at: (312) 648-6115 [email protected] [email protected] Linkedin: Christopher W. Holwell Facebook: Holwell Law Group, LLC


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