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Can Just Looking at Online Dating Apps Ruin Your Marriage?

Posted by Christopher Holwell | Jun 28, 2018 | 0 Comments

Can Just Looking at Online Dating Apps Ruin Your Marriage? We are in the "swipe" right or left age. Being able to order carry-out is wonderful especially from your iPhone app. But, today we now can order the superficially "perfect" date with just a swipe on our phones. Being a divorce litigation attorney, I've had my share of clients had me a stack of printed out screenshots of their partners social-media activity. While Facebook used to be a large source of incriminating photo and conversations, Tinder, for now, has taken the lead. More people call about their spouses browsing dating apps. It's not just husbands either. In a recent consultation, the husband suspected something was happening with his wife based upon her Facebook activity. While the couple routinely was on social media, husband notices the app his wife was swiping. When he confronted her, she admitted to downloading the app because her friends were using the app and that she just wanted to see what it was all about. She claims to have never met anyone from any website and husband believed her. In his mind although, the trust was no longer there. People do this behind their partner's back for many reasons; boredom, needing positive affirmation or after a fight. It becomes "sneaky" and as a result, we are seeing so many people having trouble. Not everyone is looking to cheat, but it is still perceived as cheating. While cheating is nothing new, apps like Tinder, Hinge, POF and Bumble can be a real relationship hazards. Estimates show that four in ten people in relationships use Tinder. There's a good chance that someone you know is using one of these apps. Other clients have told us that friends reached out to them to say they saw their profile. Others have said they received angry phone calls from the bitter spouse of a left-swipe warning them to stay away! A little online research can turn up a ton of personal information and phone numbers! Once your spouse finds out, it could be the end. So, before you start downloading any new apps, think about what you really are getting. (312) 648-6115

Sex and Divorce; Should We See A Sex Therapist Before We Divorce?

Posted by Christopher Holwell | Jun 26, 2018 | 0 Comments

Should We See A Sex Therapist Before We Divorce? Even in 2018, people may not believe that Sex Therapy is a real “thing”. Its similar to many other forms of counseling: you sit down and have a meeting like with a psychiatrist, psychologist, marriage, or sex counselor to work through everything like sexual dysfunction and intimacy issues. Even if you think everything is firing on all eight cylinders, couples can learn a thing or two from sex therapy. Signs maybe this is right for you. You have stopped having sex. At least 15% of marriages are either partly or completely sexless. What’s worse the more time that goes by, the harder it can be to get back into the swing of things. The more time that goes by, the more you may see your significant other as a nonsexual friend or roommate instead of a romantic partner. Divorce may be the first option that comes to mind but may not be the right choice just yet. You are fighting after sex. Boiled down to the lowest common denominator, good sex makes you feel good and bad sex and make you feel bad. People tend to practice avoidance when it comes to activities that make them feel bad. If you or your partner associates sex with bad feelings, you may tend to avoid it. Avoiding it may cause anxiety. Anxiety may cause you to reinforce your bad feelings and then you are caught in a vicious cycle. (Sex that is degrading or inflicts pain may be signs of deeper issues that may want you to seek a divorce attorney sooner than later.) You are happy when you partner is too tired. Being turned down after proposing sex and being happy or relieved is a big warning flag. Your couples counseling doesn’t seem to be working. This type of therapy doesn’t always focus on this part of your relationship. You will most likely hear different questions that will lead to different areas of your relationship. Considering different types of counseling is worth the effort to save your relationship. I’m sure you wont forget, you can always get divorced.

Thinking About Leaving Your Spouse or Partner?

Posted by Christopher Holwell | Jun 21, 2018 | 0 Comments

Thinking About Leaving Your Spouse or Partner? How much is too much? It Depends on when you are thinking it. Everyone has thought about it one time or another. Bad things happen in this life and bam, you think “What would happen if I just left?” Fights happen. Stress can feel overwhelming. Thoughts creep in about what your life would be like if you had made different decisions. That doesn’t make you a bad person. But, when you think about it can be a game-changer. Never use the threat of leaving as a weapon or a bargaining chip in a fight or argument. Thinking it is one thing, but once you say it, you don’t get a do-over. The words stay long after they leave your mouth. In the heat of an argument, the fight or flight part of your brain wants to end the confrontation is one of two ways. You need to ask your “adult brain” do I really want to leave and all of the consequences that go with it. After you’ve had time to cool down and think about it, you can ask yourself that question again “Do I really want to leave?” If the answer is yes, you need to ask yourself more questions. I don’t mean thinking about over coffee. I mean take time to soul search and ask yourself, “Will this person be there for you? Are you living your best life? Have you managed your own expectations?” Maybe counseling is the answer or maybe not. Maybe it’s time to do what you need to do.

Support for Adult Children with Special Needs

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Apr 18, 2018 | 0 Comments

There are many things to consider when youre a parent of a child with special needs. An important concern is whether your child can take care of himself or herself once he or she turns 18. If not, what is the best way to address this issue for you, your child, and your family? Guardianship? A po...

What is Abuse of Allocated Parenting Time?

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Mar 22, 2018 | 0 Comments

Under the revised Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, the Court must provide an “expedited procedure for the enforcement of allocated parenting time.” In other words, if either of the parties is “abusing” allocated parenting time, the Court can have an expedited hearing to make sur...

Tips for How to Prepare for Filing for Divorce

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Mar 13, 2018 | 0 Comments

This morning I read an Article by an attorney who practices in Arizona and California titled Five Important Steps to Consider in Advance of Filing for Divorce. In her article, attorney Marlene Pontrelli points out five things anyone considering filing for a divorce can do to prepare themselves ...

Illinois' Parental Rights for the Blind Act

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Feb 20, 2018 | 0 Comments

Recently, the State of Illinois passed the Parental Rights for the Blind Act (750 ILCS 85/1, et seq.) in order to protect blind parents from being discriminated against in legal proceedings involving children, such as parenting disputes, guardianship proceedings, and private adoptions. Although t...

New Illinois Laws 2018: Pet Custody

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Jan 15, 2018 | 0 Comments

On January 1, 2018, Illinois officially recognized the concept of “pet custody” in a revision made to Section 503 of the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act.  Prior to this year, pets were simply considered property to be divided by the court, like a piece of furniture or a vehicle....

What do I do now that I'm Divorced?

Posted by Christopher Holwell | Jan 05, 2018 | 0 Comments

What do I do now that I'm Divorced? This is a very common question we receive from our clients. "What do I do now?" Number 1: We provide a fairly comprehensive list to our clients (see below) of actions they should take. Save a copy of your Final Judgment, Settlement Agreement, and Allocation of Parental Responsibility in a safe place. If you have an Allocation of Parental Responsibility, you will need to refer back to it often to remember the timesharing schedules and other important details. Change your estate planning documents. If you previously had a Will appointing your former spouse as personal representative or beneficiary, you may want to have it amended. Our office will give you a referral to an estate planning attorney if necessary. Meet with your Financial Planner to reassess your financial needs and how your financial plan should be modified to better match your needs. Change the beneficiary on any life insurance policies. If necessary, change the titles on assets like your home and cars. If necessary, you may need to insure your car and home in your name only; you will want to contact your insurance agent. Take care of closing all joint bank and credit card accounts. Obtain individual auto, rental and health insurance. If your name has been legally changed, you will need to request a new Social Security Card, driver’s license, and passport. You will also need to change your name on all bank and credit card accounts, and notify your children’s school. Keep records of all alimony and child support payments paid or received. Also, record payments for extracurricular and uncovered medical expenses. Keep a log of any future incidents involving the children. You may also want to schedule appointments with a counselor, therapist or other professional to help you transition. Our office will give you a referral to professionals who specialize in therapy and family counseling. Number 2: If you don't already, exercise. Crossfit, Orange Theory, Lifetime, etc. Do classes (or get a coach/personal trainer) so someone else will work you through. Don't workout alone; that's not the point. It's been proven that exercise does the following to your body: It helps normalize your glucose, insulin, and leptin levels by optimizing insulin/leptin receptor sensitivity Exercise-improved insulin/leptin receptor sensitivity is perhaps the most important factor for optimizing your overall health and preventing chronic disease Exercise also encourages your brain to work at optimum capacity by causing your nerve cells to multiply, strengthening their interconnections, and protecting them from damage Unexpected side effects of exercise include improved sexual function, changes in gene expression, clearer skin, and improved mood and sleep Research shows that the “secret” to increased productivity and happiness on any given day is a long-term investment in regular exercise, and a little each day appears to go further than a lot once or twice a week So in short, exercise makes you feel better, look better, sleep better and helps prevent chronic disease. It's a good place to start.

New Illinois Family Laws in 2018

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Jan 02, 2018 | 0 Comments

The New Year is officially here and usually, that means new laws. This year is no exception and many of the new laws enacted in 2018 can directly affect your family law case. Here are a few of the new laws that may affect your divorce, parentage, or order of protection case: Collaborative Divorc...

What is Bitcoin and How Can it Affect My Divorce?

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Dec 15, 2017 | 0 Comments

Bitcoin has been in the news a lot lately because the value of a bitcoin has skyrocketed over the past few weeks. In fact, as Im writing this blog post, the value of one bitcoin is equivalent to $17,704.56 USD. With all this hype, many people may be wondering, what is a bitcoin? stat...

Holiday Parenting Time

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Dec 14, 2017 | 0 Comments

When establishing parenting time as part of a divorce or custody dispute, one of the most common issues that arises is holiday parenting time. It is often very difficult for parents to envision spending any holiday, whether its Christmas, Hanukkah, Easter, or the Fourth of July, without their ch...

Can I Change My Parenting Plan?

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Dec 12, 2017 | 0 Comments

The statute defines a parenting plan as a written agreement that allocates significant decision-making responsibilities (formerly custody), parenting time (formerly visitation), or both. Under the statute, both parents must file a proposed parenting plan within 120 days after filing a petition to...

Summary of Gina and Laura's Recent Supreme Court Case

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Dec 05, 2017 | 0 Comments

Recently, Gina and Laura celebrated a victory at the Illinois Supreme Court with respect to an attorney fee issue that affects family law attorneys in the State of Illinois. Prior to the Illinois Supreme Court decision issued on Gina and Lauras case, In re the Marriage of Goesel, it was very unc...

Don't Ignore Your Case! Part I

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Nov 22, 2017 | 0 Comments

Your spouse has filed for divorce. You received papers indicating you need to file your appearance and a response to the complaint within thirty days. You dont feel you can afford an attorney and youre not sure what the documents mean or what you are supposed to do. This is the unfortunate real...

Illinois Collaborative Process Act

Posted by Gina Colaluca | Nov 06, 2017 | 0 Comments

On August 18, 2017, the State of Illinois passed the Illinois Collaborative Process Act, in an effort to promote using the Collaborative process to settle more cases in the State of Illinois. This law will go into effect on January 1, 2018. Collaborative Process is a method of settling family law...

Can I fire my lawyer?

Posted by Christopher Holwell | Nov 03, 2017 | 0 Comments

You must remember, you (the client) are the master of your destiny. You want your lawyer to be in your corner and still be able to navigate the legal road that lays ahead. Let us talk about some reasons your lawyer should go. 1. The lawyer is never in his/her office and never can answer the phon...

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